life

So many things have been happening lately... For one thing, in less than a month I'll be in Italy. Lots of things are really good right now.

Photography?... My efforts march forward, if "march" is really the best adjective. Sometimes they waltz, sometimes they saunter. I've been seeking out weird lighting situations and playing with shutter speed - not quite satisfied, but such is the learning curve. I took this photo of water dripping off a spoon, and actually really like it:

















I suppose given all that's going on, I ought to give picture-taking a rest, but it's just so soothing, when it's not being horribly frustrating. Shortly I'll have mind-blowing subjects to work on... Anyway, hope the first traces of summer are kind to all of you. I'll keep you posted.

small victory by victory

I really am getting better at this, in significant (to me) ways. Look at the below photograph, which I just took this evening, no editing.


















This is the first successful outdoor lowlight shot I have ever taken. Ever! And you CANNOT be on automatic to get something like this.

This is probably partly a fluke, but I was using a high ISO, I believe automatic white balance and an automatic flash, after trying other things first. This is actually the only decent picture I took this evening, but that's fine with me.

Moving forward, slowly.

eep eep eep.

I'm accepted to a magazine internship program in Italia. That's right, Italy, baby.

akjdkbdkdkba!!!

I'm going to be there for a month. The magazine has really good writing. That's all I basically know right now. But I don't need to know much more.

crazy giftedness

I'm thinking about future career possibilities, and my awesome friend April pointed out a couple internships online. Right now I'm scouting around on my own.

(This guy) is 25 years old and has worked for Wal-Mart and had his work as the main photo on the front of the New York Times. He has taken a single 8-week photography course.

Read the interview. There may have been stretches of my life where I was that passionate about something, but they probably centered around the years when I was writing stories about rabbits and producing a copy-cat Titanic novella (complete with mushy heroine).

Look at the photo at the bottom of (this page) (it's winners for National Geographic's College Photographer of the Year competition). Quite a few interesting images overall, but that's the only one that made me actually go Google the guy who took it. ...and then one discovers the website with a blog detailing massively impressive and creative marketing, high profile gigs, etc. It's both intimidating and inspiring.

I haven't a clue what I'm doing after graduation. I know I have ability, but getting to where I'd like to be is probably going to involve a lot more work than I've been anticipating.

"I feel like I'm in 'Far Side'"

so many instructions...


Photography class is... interesting. The more I'm there the more befuddled I get. I tend to overly simplify things so I can understand something, but clearly I'm only turning myself around further.

However, I am not the only one who feels/felt that way.

At the end of class last night, the teacher invited us to take turns practicing with objects on a table. Being that there were about 30 of us, plenty of us had to wait for our turn in the paparazzi line. The white-haired men, the pros, had a cluster of about three people around them, watching as they animatedly explained something technical. The teen girls were wide-mouthed, wide-eyed, giggling. Others stared at the camera in their hands with puzzled looks. I was one of the latter, until I realized something: this was really a prime people-watching opportunity. Everyone was distracted, and quite expressive in his or her own way. I found the general mayhem of confused camera-folk far more intriguing as subjects than the objects on the table.

One man, who I quickly decided was far more interesting than them all, looked as if he wanted to cry. His face was red, and he switched from staring at his camera with furrowed brows to staring at the people around him with a look that clearly said, "I am the only person here who is not getting any of this. I am such an idiot." He left with this same rather crumpled expression, carrying his big camera and tripod, and at this point the teacher paused in helping me to ask him how it was going. He made a face.

"I don't know... I feel like I'm in a 'Far Side' cartoon," he said (Far Side featuring lolling, overweight men with the IQs of cattle).

Teacher said something reassuring, but the guy didn't seem to buy it, only nodding vaguely as if he weren't listening. I would have said something to him, but he seemed a little angry as well so I decided against it. For privacy's sake I'll refrain from posting any of my group "spy" photos, including this fellow.

However, here are a few (the best, ha) that I took at home this week, experimenting with aperture. Editing helps. I really don't think I'm getting it, but this is one thing you learn from college: you have to give yourself time to learn something new, like something as huge as 'photography,' and not expect one source to be your one-stop shopping for understanding it completely (although I'm hopeful this class will teach a lot).

Shots:




















































And here's a link to classmate Anna's photos from last week as well.

the separation of time

< the basic idea of The Last of the Mohicans: women are "flowers in the wilderness" that need a knight to rescue them.

I don't think I've ever had to think so much about how deeply we're connected to the time in which we live. Without knowing it, all of us believe and expect certain things because of current history, literature and culture, without hardly being aware of it.

I just finished The Last of the Mohicans for class, which was written in 1826, and started a book by Catherine Sedgwick published the year after. From these authors' point of view, they were writing about history long passed, a time in America's development they themselves hadn't seen. To them, their words were modern, flushed with new knowledge. Today Cooper comes across outrageously sexist and racist, if progressive for his time (while a good deal of Indians in Mohicans are brutish, animalistic savages, others conform wonderfully well to the "noble savage" idea, and are admired by the white characters).

In Cooper's case, what struck me most was how flowery his prose was. The two women in his novel can't just be weeping, helpless women; they have to "heave sobs", fall on their knees praying in thanks, emit "blistering" tears. Looks-wise, of course, both girls (I can't say 'women') possess "shining tresses" and "ruby lips" and beautiful, slender female forms (and on, and on, and on).

Sedgwick seems more intelligent than Cooper - I'm only 60 pages in, but her characters are more complex, and her style less bent to diverge in a frenzy of drama more laughable than anything. She dares to challenge the ideology behind works like Mohicans. What's strange about Sedgwick, though, is how very prominent conservative religious beliefs are in her writing. Characters do all in their power to see that children are baptized, given 'Christian' names, and brought up solidly; any Indians encountered are potential converts living in heathenism, and directly spoken of as so. There is not the slightest bit of doubt as to this.

The spirit isn't misplaced, but the pervasive, heavy-handed way in which Sedgwick portrays her beliefs is utterly opposite to any fiction I've read published today. Completely! Modern fiction writers dislike making declarative statements about the validity of any particular religious system, unless they're addressing the topic of God Himself (or have an axe to grind, in which case they ought to be writing nonfiction). Writers today would much rather explore things connected to a character's strong religious beliefs, such as how they make him or her act and relate to others. A scene in which the death of an unconverted pagan was bitterly mourned would NEVER be portrayed without some degree of irony, removal or outright mocking. Even Christian fiction writers allow a bit of breathing room for skeptical readers, allowing room to judge characters' words and actions as they stand rather than insisting in every scene that Christian beliefs are unequivocally right and everybody thinks so.

After 60 pages you might think these antiquated styles would become natural to read. Hardly. In 2010, Cooper and Sedgwick are still jarring, despite their insights into human nature. I wonder how popular writing today would come across to them.

the ever-elusive bird shot

I'm finally starting to accept that blindly pointing and clicking is getting me nowhere (at least in terms of enjoying the process...) My camera's automatic settings cannot read my mind. Ignoring the technical side of photography entirely - other than modifying the automatic settings I already use - makes for frustrating picture-taking. There's no other way around it.

I don't hate these bird shots - they're the first ones I've ever attempted, after viewing absolutely superb, amazing, is-that-real bird shots on flickr. It's just that I know what the good stuff looks like, and I'm sooo far away.






~~

so cold - roses for a reminder

As the title says - my favorite rose shots I took at the Sunken Gardens last year, mementos of a much warmer time. So many varieties, so many colors!

snow fun pt. 1

As the title promises. I took close to 1,000 photos the Saturday I was SUPPOSED to be focusing on packing and moving on - that happened Sunday, ha! All Dad had to do to get me up that morning was to say, "Hey, Renae, there's some really cool frost outside, might be good for taking pictures." I don't care if it's 5 a.m. If you tell me there's something cool worth seeing and recording in a picture, I will be there!

I'm still learning how to edit pictures from the new camera; luckily it's not too different than with the old. However I never quite know what Photoshop could really be doing for me, so I feel reluctant to save any changes I make (since of course the new camera is getting more "data" in an image that better editing might be able to bring out. With the old camera, when I tried to push an image's quality in a certain direction, I generally knew that I didn't have a whole lot to work with either way.)

best of first efforts

*Do not use images without permission. Thanks.

I woke up this morning around 7:30, peeked outside the window and was met with a gorgeous orange and pink sunrise. That was it: time for the Olympus' first official outing. I grabbed Mom's boots, Dad's gloves with fingerholes, the necessary coat and hat and ventured out, pajama pants and all. I tried to step in the footholes I'd made a couple days before, attempting to creep into the backyard with the least amount of snow slipping into my boots.

All in all, I'm pleased. Of course by the time I was actually outside, the light had shifted rather dramatically, but that didn't mean the view wasn't worth seeing. I startled two rabbits, who hustled away under a large pile of snow-covered brush. Their frenzied tracks were rather interesting, and I got a few shots of that. Sometimes there's be only a single line of rabbit tracks leading up to the base of a tree, which was rather cute (until I approached the tree later and wondered where the rabbit was possibly hoping to find shelter!).

These (below) are my favorites (click for larger). The first is me turning backwards on the hill facing the suburbs - a good title might be "Lincoln Sleeping." The next two are obviously of the sunset. I think the last one's my favorite.

My dad's subtly trying to encourage me to go backpacking this coming year with he and my sister - this morning showing me a website of the trail they want to go on and the shots a photographer/backpacker managed to get there. Dude, at this point that's only going to depress me. You need pretty solid technical knowledge, I think, to produce outstanding 'backpacking' pictures. Nevertheless the site was lovely. Such a trip might be fun to go on, but I'd probably end up spending a lot of time by myself when my sister and dad leave me to actually hit the trails (and I'm back at the start with my camera :))

Shots:

what i got for christmas

Ahh, I got so many camera-related things for Christmas! This was the main gift, followed by a camera bag, a zoom lens and a memory card. It's been some time now since my little Canon Powershot A530 needed a break.

Good thing it's used to being beat up. Yesterday I took it out while it wasn't drizzling too much and tried to grab some cool ice shots. Everything was cracking around me, including our giant Chinese elm, as if guns were going off. I noticed one big branch fell on the barbed wire this morning.

The ice was gorgeous, but my lens kept fogging up or developing a scrim of ice around the edges. Sometimes the effect was satisfyingly smoky and old-fashioned looking; other times just a pain in the butt. Here's a few shots...

latest

*please do not use my images without permission. Thanks.

More and more as I'm taking pictures, I think to myself that I could do this forever. The rush of exploring a scene, every second as fragile as me and the camera I'm holding, is heady and sweet. Light is constantly shifts; with people, the best moments flicker like fireflies before vanishing.

To say that you're "shooting" a picture is entirely accurate. In history class we watched a film in which a common Czechoslovakian woman watches Communist forces riding into her small village to take it over, causing a riot in the streets. She runs into her house and back again with her small, cherished possession, her camera, and steps right into the scene, fearlessly approaches the tanks. She is seemingly mesmerized by it all, oblivious to the explosions and screaming. The sound of the "click" her camera makes is every bit as loud and forceful as the sound of the Communists' guns firing, and increases in intensity as she focuses in on one man riding the tanks, his face filled with anger and hatred. He shouts at her as she approaches him, but the woman is not dissuaded; it only seems to make her bolder. In some sense, how could it not? She had the truth by the teeth in that moment, if only she had courage enough to take the picture.

I don't claim that anything I do is that important, though I do think the scenes I shoot are important. Yesterday was a good friend's wedding, in which I got to be a bridesmaid. The emotions a bride goes through on her wedding day are really like nothing else. This shot stood out to me:



It's blurry but I think that blurriness works. Something about the mirrored image and the vulnerability of the moment, the way she's looking at and touching herself, just sort of gets to me.

Here's another picture that technically could have been better, but to me gets the emotion I felt looking at this image. It's just a statue I found on campus on a particularly blustery day.



The little studs of frost seem to highlight, or illuminate, the quiet suffering sadness in the figure's face, the way he seems to be closing his eyes to the world and hoping to just get through. I would have liked to go back and try the shot again in different light, but shortly thereafter the heavens dumped snow all over us and the time was passed.

I can't always get what I want, but it's so, so much fun to try.

'model' thoughts

It's Wednesday, which means another episode of America's Next Top Model.

My mom can't stand it, and if you think about the content (or lack thereof) in each 45-minute episode... you could really watch the last 5 minutes and not miss a whole lot, unless you're hooked. It is true that the show treats you as if you are 15 years old and need the contestants to RE-EXPLAIN what is already happening, has happened or will happen. If someone is shown as upset or angry or happy, inevitably you switch immediately to a "confessional" of them exclaiming about how upset/angry/happy they are. The actual photo shoots go by in a blur, with fake camera clicks and flashes getting in the way of what you DO see.

But anyway.

I quite like the favorite, Nicole, whose artistic flair and quiet personality reminded me of myself. I kept wondering, though - why would someone as intelligent and downright gifted as she is in other areas (we saw footage of her paintings - WOW) be completely happy with modeling? To me it seemed a downright waste.

Until I read an interview where she outlines exactly what I find compelling about the show in general. I think she's going to be fine.


"I admire the artistry involved in the fashion industry," she said. "From designers to photographers to stylists, the industry is filled with creative, passionate people -- a world I would love to be a part of. Models get to embody an emotion and to use their bodies to convey that feeling for the camera. In doing so, you become a work of art yourself." link to interview


Elsewhere she says she'd like to be an artist/model/writer, and perhaps use modeling to finance a career as an artist. I suppose that's not a terrible day job. (Not that I would know.)

Here's hoping Nicole wins next week, because she deserves it.

the wonder of the face

by Eric Lafforgue, from here

I've been looking through a lot of portraits lately on Flickr, it seems like. So many are filled with meaning, emotion, with stories.


by Andrea Benedetti, from here

This shot of Benedetti's of the two stranded nuns is so heartwarming and hilarious. It's not as if anyone just strolling along could pick up a camera, take a shot and have it be this good. People are as bad as sports - there are dozens of little significant, potential moments, but you have very little time to anticipate and recognize them - and get the shot - when they do come.

It's also a little more personal. Of course - getting in someone's face, as my sister knows I like to do with the camera, is not at all like waiting for the right light to ripple over a rock or for that home run. It's a little embarrassing; you, the camera and your subject all have to get used to each other first, kind of. And that feeling of possibly intruding on someone is why I don't take many people shots.

Nevertheless, here are a few (about 16) that I like of mine (as always, Slide kills the quality to some extent). Be forewarned: some faces you may recognize.

While going through my files, though, I had to wonder: who are these attractive people?


Just thought I'd ask in my circle of acquaintances.

contest results

I entered 7 photos in this contest, and unfortunately didn't place in any category. 500+ photos is a lot to contend with. However a couple friends of mine made it into runners-up or honorable mention spots, like Ian Hoppe, from my family's old church (he got 2nd place in "Other Wildlife"!).

Ah well. Here were my entries, which I still think are pretty swell :) :

This is just one of over a dozen photos I have "faved" on Flickr. This one is from user aftab, published on October 11.

Click here to visit my "favorites" page, which has shots as cool or cooler than this - like super-close shots of raindrops mirroring flowers, or a swan on a lake burnished bright gold from the setting sun. Or a frozen spider web backlit by a sunset.

My own photo site is here. I've been trying to join groups, add photos and comment, and I'm having a little bit of success with kind compliments. But mostly I'm getting under 2 views per photo, which means either people just don't know it's there or don't care to see it close-up. It's a bit of a popularity contest. If you have tons of followers, you'll get like 96 comments and end up on the "Explore" page on Flickr, which is where I found most of my favorites. And usually stuff with that many comments, or on Explore, really does legitimately deserve it. Not always. But I try to remind myself that the goal is not to get on Explore, or to have over 50 comments on a photo. It's just to share what I've been doing lately. Sigh. ...if only it were as fabulous as those faved pics, though!!

husker football from my perspective

Yep, these are photos from my one and only Husker experience - and the first entire game I have actually sat through. Yes, I know it's too much. It was all Julie's doing.

We were crammed in one row from the top of the student's section. I did not know the student section STANDS... the entire time! Our bench had a tendency to wobble forward and backward, sometimes making Julie and I grab each other's arms. I found the bazillion balloons everyone let go at the first Husker point more fascinating than anything that happened on the field - as you can see in my photos. I never took pictures of anything on the field - I suppose for one because nothing was actually HAPPENING, from a fan's standpoint, and second my camera could never get anything useful from that distance anyway.

So, I have faithfully dipped my toes into the world of Husker football... and I found everything around me except the field pretty interesting :) A guy in front of us got escorted out by police for his drunken, shirtless debauchery. Good times!

-Oh, and it looks like Slide cut off the edges of a few pictures strangely... like a balloons-in-the-sky one and a shadow picture at the end. If you want the true artistic effect I guess you'll just have to go through the Slide album yourself :)

red on the trees

I took over 400 pictures last weekend. ...yikes. A lot to go through.

I'm going to throw up some shots I like and this time not worry about whether it is a comprehensive gathering of every single highlight.

So... through the magic of Slide, 14 shots: